And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
