Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
