I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
