You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
