Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
