chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
