idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I party with great urgency now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
