im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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