well you can't waste a boner
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
