i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
