What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
