i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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