She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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