I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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