carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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