My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
