Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
