Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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