I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
