This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize