Operation Purity has been aborted
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
