North Korea, Best Korea!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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