So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
