3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
