When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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