As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
