With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
