he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
