I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
