Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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