Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
