you didnt know i had herpes?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
