he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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