you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
