It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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