The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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