I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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