This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
