Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
