I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
