Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Everyone says I win the strip club
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
