i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize