just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
