"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
