I'm really into asian looking animals
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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