Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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