North Korea, Best Korea!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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