you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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