Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
