idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
