It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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