He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
