I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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