why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
