you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
