Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
