He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
