hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
