Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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