my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
