You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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