I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
