He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
