She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
