Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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