Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
