I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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