I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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