O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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