I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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