we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize